


Supernanny Needed: The Story of ScienceFamily

by OkieDokieSteveAndLoki



Series: The Story of Science Boyfriends [4]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: A wild Stoki appears, Domestic Avengers, Gen, I got carried away with this 'verse, M/M, Nanny Natasha, Omega Verse, Superfamily, Their kids are cute and vicious, Tony and Bruce have spawned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-13
Updated: 2013-06-13
Packaged: 2017-12-14 21:40:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/841681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OkieDokieSteveAndLoki/pseuds/OkieDokieSteveAndLoki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Bruce have kids, and try to employ a nanny to take care or their multitude.  It doesn't go as planned at first, what with these being the spawns of two certified geniuses (one being an almost manic mad scientist) and by the third nanny its not hard to see who these kids take after.  But one supernanny comes to save the day. Hilarity ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Supernanny Needed: The Story of ScienceFamily

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, age chart:
> 
> James Anthony Stark-Banner (Jamie) - 7  
> Maria Elizabeth Stark-Banner - 5  
> Tyler Bruce Stark-Banner and Rebecca 'Becky' Stephanie Stark-Banner (twins) - 3 1/4  
> Virginia 'Pepper' Jamie-Lyn Stark-Banner - 10 months
> 
> You can guess who named them...

A day in the Stark-Banner household was everything that you would expect it to be: loud, confusing, full of laughter and consisting of the occasional explosion followed by more laughter and a whole lot of junk food.

Chaotic was the ideal word to describe the whole thing: a penthouse equipped with artificial intelligence, state of the art surveillance, two housekeepers, a butler, two scientists (one certifiably insane) and five children.

Yes, **_FIVE_**.

 

Bruce and Tony sure got busy in eight years of marriage.

However, having careers and a small army of rugrats isn’t the best of combinations, and while Tony was all for Bruce resigning and being a stay at home dad, Bruce didn’t really jump at the chance, and he couldn’t really ask Tony to leave Stark Industries to his dad’s shady business associates (although Howard was _all_ for it. Chauvinistic bastard.) Jarvis wasn’t young enough to deal with that much stress, so they had no other choice.

 

They had to hire a nanny.

 

And boy, was that an awesome task.

 

The first nanny they hired was a recently retired nurse named May Parker.  The woman was an alpha, and was recommended by Tony’s young protégé, Peter. She was hired because she brought a peach cobbler to the interview.  Seriously, Tony didn’t even bother questioning her, he just yell ‘Sold!’ and took off with the cobbler.

May Parker, however, was not equipped to deal with Jamie’s exploding soda bottles or Pepper’s Stark-sized teething tantrums.  She left the job after a week, stating,

“These children are menaces to society!”

* * *

 

 

The next notable nanny was the third they had hired, a beta male by the name of Scott Summers.  He was young, and bright, and lasted all of three days before weird things started happening to his motorcycle.  It started spraying bubbles every time he had to leave for home.

Then, his cell phone started playing “La Cucaracha” every time it rang, then “Gangnam Style” when Scott stated that he liked ‘La Cucaracha’, then it changed to a Dalek droning ‘exterminate’ to the beat of a Ke$ha song.

Scott had to laugh at that one, and told Bruce as soon as he got home that day that Jamie was a very smart seven year old.

The final straw, however, came at the hands of one Maria Stark-Banner, who, with all  the curiosity that a five year old possessed, had unintentionally caused her parents a whole lot of money because she wanted to see a ‘real life Cyclops’.

* * *

 

 

The closest they got to a full time nanny staying with the kids had to be Raven Darkholme, a young Alpha who was engaged to Bruce’s TA.  Raven was strict, but really, really fun.  She would have the kids cleaned and fed by the time Bruce and Tony got home and was early to work and courteous.  The kids loved her, Becky especially, ‘cause she has pretty hair’.

 

But, after all two weeks of smooth sailing, someone (Maria) replaced Raven’s bath fizzes with bombs of permanent blue dye, and Bruce came home to a very blue Raven storming out of the house yelling profanities at him and spitting on the floor.

Okay, that one was funny, he admitted.

 

The pair was just about to give up when a woman named Natasha Romanov waltzed into Bruce’s office one day when Tony just happened to be visiting, saying that Steve Rogers had informed her of the job and she was willing to try. 

 

Tony snickered at the seemingly harmless omega woman, before saying that they’d be willing to humor her for a week, since she was so highly recommended. Natasha only smiled and went straight to work.

 

* * *

 

That day when Tony came home from work he saw dozens of beakers, wrenches, bottles of dye and cans of paint by the door in a trash bag, and Natasha and Jarvis sitting down and drinking tea.

“What happened in here?” he asked as he stepped through the door an wasn’t pummeled by the kids.

“Pepper is asleep, Jamie and Maria are doing homework and the twins are watching a child-friendly nature documentary.  Tyler had an accident with some paint and Becky said to tell you that her pony is dirty, sir.” Jarvis said, before taking a sip of his Earl Grey.

“So, uh, everything’s peachy then?  No bruises, no poked out eyes, no dye involved?” Tony asked, looking at Natasha expectantly.

The girl raised an eyebrow and gave a small smile.

“They don’t call me ‘the kid whisperer’ for nothing, Mr. Stark.” She said, before taking another sip from her cup.

A month passed after that and Natasha was still there, the kids were perfectly behaved and Natasha unscathed, it was really beginning to bug him.  He called Steve and asked about Natasha again, but Steve was more concerned with his teething baby than Tony’s nanny problems and hung up on him.

 

Stupid Steve and his stupid baby.

 

* * *

 

 

 

Saturday was the weekly picnic that Tony and Bruce had thought of after the twins were born, and Tony really wanted to get to the bottom of this nanny mystery.  He was beginning to wonder if she was that good or if the kids were just getting bored, so he asked.

“Jamie, how’s Miss Romanov been treating you guys?”

 

He was feeding Pepper some of that goopy apple sauce she seemed to love so much and paused as he saw Maria’s head snapped up with her eyes wide.

 

“She’s cool, I guess.” Jamie said, eyes darting all over.

 

“Daddy, she scares me!” Tyler said as Bruce set him and his twin down.

 

“Yeah, she’s really weird and she says she’s got a friend in the army who’s a ‘sassin.” Becky added.

 

“She means ‘an _assassin_ ’. And we’re not supposed to talk about it.” Jamie replied.

 

“She told you this?” Bruce asked, amused and concerned at the same time.

 

“No, but she’s always on the phone with some guy called ‘Winter Soldier’ and that sounds a lot like a codename for a secret agent.” Maria said, pouting.

 

“And she’s all secret-y and serious and scary, and she says she had to quit her old job cause she was ‘compromised’.” Jamie said, using appropriate air quotes.

 

“And she always knows when we plan secret stuff: like last week, I set a spider on her in the bathroom and she came out with the thing in a cage, and named it Natalia cause it reminded her of herself.”

 

“But then she’s all nice… too nice, like she’ll mess us up if we misbehave.” Tyler said.

 

“Mess you up?” Bruce chortled, looking at his children in amazement.

 

“Yeah! And she’s a witch!” Becky said, “She’s mind-controlling Jarvis, but you didn’t hear it from me…”

 

Tony outright laughed at that, jostling Pepper a bit, causing the ten month old to start screaming loudly. Bruce took the baby and tried to soothe her as Tony continued laughing loudly, practically rolling on the ground.

 

“Bruce.” He said, between intakes of air.

 

“I think Natasha is a keeper.”

 

it turns out that all the hints of Natasha being a secret agent or a witch or knowing assassins were of her doing, and that she purposefully made the kids think all of this.  Bruce was convinced she was a great nanny, and the kids were convinced that she hypnotised Bruce, too.

 

So was Tony, Because Natasha was _scary_ good at her job.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this 'verse is taking over my life... I've got two more fics fixing to upload, and a B side surrounding Steve/Loki cause they are my OTP (don't hate), also, comment or send kudos where appropriate, 
> 
> or don't.
> 
> I don't judge.


End file.
